The surface map
Match the surface to the goal instead of making every surface funny at once.
- ten surfaces
- one goal each
- don't start with stunts
Different surfaces naturally match different goals. Don't pick at random - match the surface to what you're trying to do, and don't try to make every surface funny at once.
Social → everything
Highest-leverage by far - try many things fast. If the main account is too buttoned-up, spin a dedicated meme page.
Ads / billboards → differentiate
An in-crowd puzzle only your people decode ("10¹⁸ > 10¹⁰⁰"), or blunt/ugly-on-purpose copy that stands out.
Email → connect
A personal space - the subject line is the highest-stakes real estate. Humor can earn or cost the open.
404 pages → reduce friction
Turn a dead end into a smile or a lead. One of the most under-used surfaces on any site.
Careers / job posts → awareness
Often the 2nd most-visited page. A weird or rebranded role signals culture and can go viral on its own.
Swag / merch → word of mouth
Bigger risk, bigger reward - make something people actually keep and display. A screenshot of the swag spreads even without shipping it.
Stunts / April Fools → big-swing attention
Buys attention you can't pay for - but not where to start. Earn the right with smaller wins first.
Blog / owned → shareable depth
The most "boring" surface is the biggest opportunity - if it's good enough, people read and share a company blog.
Product → delight / retention
Easter eggs and joyful features that exist to be shared (see §05).
Internal → culture / recruiting
Humor gets teammates and stakeholders onboard and makes recruiting easier. "Fun" as an actual value.
Do this first
- 01List every surface you own. Include the boring ones: 404 page, careers page, invoice emails, empty states.
- 02Assign each surface exactly one goal. If two surfaces share a goal, cut one from the plan this quarter.
- 03Fix the most neglected surface first. The 404 page or the job post usually takes an hour and gets seen more than your last campaign.
Voice & messaging
Plain beats clever, less formal as you grow, and write the scary answer before anyone asks.
- plain > clever
- banned words
- 7th grade
- the scary answer
These rules come from the guides big brands hand new hires on day one. Every one is the opposite of what small brands do by instinct. The fix is the same each time: write the rules down, then use them. A written guide is also what makes AI-written copy sound like you.
01Plain > clever
"Financial infrastructure to grow your revenue." Six words, no adjectives.
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Cut "all-in-one AI-powered platform." It sounds small. Adjectives are what companies reach for when they can't say the thing plainly.
02Less formal as you get bigger
A regulated bank writes "We're sorry," not "We would like to apologize."
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Formal Latin-root words sound cold. The smaller the company, the harder it tries to sound like one.
03Obsess over what you refuse to say
Ban words ("ninja, rockstar, wizard, unicorn").
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A banned-words list becomes your fingerprint.
04Write for a 7th grader
Start sentences with verbs ("add apps," not "you can add apps").
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Read it out loud - does a human say it? Ship it.
05Talk like a person when things break
Wiped 300GB of production data → tweeted it within the hour and livestreamed the recovery.
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"We accidentally deleted production data." No corporate-speak, no three-day legal review.
06Write the scary answer before anyone asks
The touchiest question (the price hike, "aren't you just a wrapper?") gets a word-for-word answer in the guide.
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So nobody improvises it on a call.
Two notes
- You're allowed to repel some people. A mascot that annoys a slice of users is fine, as long as it's persistent and not mean.
- Feed this guide to your AI. It's the fastest way to get your voice out of it. If you're a team of one, the AI is the new hire the doc was written for.
Founder-led voice: receipts, not narrative
The growth channel was the founder, posting in real time. Revenue milestones. Architecture bets. The things that broke.
Plus unedited screen recordings of a prompt turning into a deployed app in under a minute. Raw proof beat every polished brand asset. Answering technical questions personally in Reddit and Discord bought more goodwill than a support org would have.
Steal: publish the number and the screen recording instead of the claim. Let the person who built it answer in the thread.
Do this first
- 01Open your homepage and delete every adjective. Read what's left out loud. If a human wouldn't say it, rewrite it in plainer words.
- 02Write your banned-words list today. Ten words, no debate. "Seamless," "robust," "empower" are free starters.
- 03Write the word-for-word answer to your scariest question - price, security, "aren't you just a wrapper?" - and put it where the whole team can copy it.
Outbound
Make one real person feel you wrote it only for them & always hand them an exit.
- mechanics
- tactics
- skeletons
- the soft-no line
Cold outreach is a channel like any other. The whole game is one thing: make one real person feel you wrote it only for them. Mechanics first, then words.
MechanicsBefore the words matter
- Connection request, no note. Empty requests get accepted more. A note fires a second notification to clear, so people decline instead.
- Wait a few days after they accept - hitting them instantly feels automated.
- After ~2 weeks unaccepted, switch to InMail with no subject line. A bold subject reads as an ad. Blank reads as a normal message.
TacticsWhat makes it land
- Make them feel chosen - a number, a reason, a list. Specificity sells it.
- Hook about them, not you. Never open with "I noticed that…" - it signals a pitch.
- Name their objection first - "you don't know me, ignore this if you want, but I think it's for you."
- Make the ask weightless - a 90-second glance, not a 30-minute call.
- Prove demand quietly - "showed 5 people Monday, 4 asked in." "Everyone loves it" kills belief.
- Lowercase their first name, under ~50 words, one ask, always an exit.
SkeletonsFill the brackets, or hand to AI to rewrite
warm - you have proof
[firstname] :) we just crossed [milestone] with teams like yours, and your name keeps coming up as exactly who we built this for. mind if i show you? two minutes, no pitch. [name] (previously [credential])
cold - no proof yet
[firstname] :) bit of a long shot. i'm building [one line on what it does], and you're one of maybe five people whose honest take i'd actually trust. can i show you what i've got? [name]
the follow-up (the soft-no line)
hey [name], just checking in, any thoughts on [the thing]? wanted to give you first dibs. no worries if it's not the right fit right now.
The whole trick
The soft-no line - hand them an easy exit so they stop bracing and actually reply. Never beg, never "just bumping this." Every message gives them a way out.
Do this first
- 01Build a list of 20 named people, not 500 companies. If you can't say why each one is on the list, they don't belong on it.
- 02Rewrite your current opener to under 50 words with one ask and one exit line. Cut every sentence that starts with "I."
- 03Send 20 this week, track reply rate, and change one variable next week - the hook, the ask, or the timing. One at a time.