The surface map
Match the surface to the goal instead of making every surface funny at once.
- ten surfaces
- one goal each
- don't start with stunts
Different surfaces naturally match different goals. Don't pick at random - match the surface to what you're trying to do, and don't try to make every surface funny at once.
| Surface | Best for | The move |
|---|---|---|
| Social | everything | Highest-leverage by far - try many things fast. If the main account is too buttoned-up, spin a dedicated meme page. |
| Ads / billboards | differentiate | An in-crowd puzzle only your people decode ("10¹⁸ > 10¹⁰⁰"), or blunt/ugly-on-purpose copy that stands out. |
| connect | A personal space - the subject line is the highest-stakes real estate. Humor can earn or cost the open. | |
| 404 pages | reduce friction | Turn a dead end into a smile or a lead. One of the most under-used surfaces on any site. |
| Careers / job posts | awareness | Often the 2nd most-visited page. A weird or rebranded role signals culture and can go viral on its own. |
| Swag / merch | word of mouth | Bigger risk, bigger reward - make something people actually keep and display. A screenshot of the swag spreads even without shipping it. |
| Stunts / April Fools | big-swing attention | Buys attention you can't pay for - but not where to start. Earn the right with smaller wins first. |
| Blog / owned | shareable depth | The most "boring" surface is the biggest opportunity - if it's good enough, people read and share a company blog. |
| Product | delight / retention | Easter eggs and joyful features that exist to be shared (see §05). |
| Internal | culture / recruiting | Humor gets teammates and stakeholders onboard and makes recruiting easier. "Fun" as an actual value. |
Voice & messaging
Plain beats clever, less formal as you grow, and write the scary answer before anyone asks.
- plain > clever
- banned words
- 7th grade
- the scary answer
From the internal guides top brands hand new hires on day one. Every rule is the opposite of what small brands do by instinct - and the fix is the same one that makes AI-written copy sound on-brand: write the rules down, then enforce them.
01Plain > clever
"Financial infrastructure to grow your revenue." Six words, no adjectives.
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Cut "all-in-one AI-powered platform" - it sounds small. Adjectives are what companies reach for when they can't say the thing plainly.
02Less formal as you get bigger
A regulated bank writes "We're sorry," not "We would like to apologize."
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Formal Latin-root words sound cold. The smaller the company, the harder it tries to sound like one.
03Obsess over what you refuse to say
Ban words ("ninja, rockstar, wizard, unicorn").
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A banned-words list becomes your fingerprint.
04Write for a 7th grader
Start sentences with verbs ("add apps," not "you can add apps").
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Read it out loud - does a human say it? Ship it.
05Talk like a person when things break
Wiped 300GB of production data → tweeted it within the hour and livestreamed the recovery.
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"We accidentally deleted production data." No corporate-speak, no three-day legal review.
06Write the scary answer before anyone asks
The touchiest question (the price hike, "aren't you just a wrapper?") gets a word-for-word answer in the guide.
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So nobody improvises it on a call.
Two notes
You're also allowed to repel some people - a guilt-trip mascot that annoys a slice of users is fine if it's persistent, not mean. And the fastest way to make AI write in your voice is to feed it this guide; if you're a team of one, the AI is the new hire the doc was written for.
Outbound
Make one real person feel you wrote it only for them & always hand them an exit.
- mechanics
- tactics
- skeletons
- the soft-no line
Cold outreach is a distribution channel like any other, and the whole game is the same: make one real person feel you wrote it only for them. Mechanics first, then words.
MechanicsBefore the words matter
- Connection request, no note. Empty requests get accepted more - a note fires a second notification to clear, so people decline instead.
- Wait a few days after they accept - hitting them instantly feels automated.
- After ~2 weeks unaccepted, switch to InMail with no subject line - the bold subject reads as "ad." Blank looks like a normal message.
TacticsWhat makes it land
- Make them feel chosen - a number, a reason, a list. Specificity sells it.
- Hook about them, not you. Never open with "I noticed that…" - it signals a pitch.
- Name their objection first - "you don't know me, ignore this if you want, but I think it's for you."
- Make the ask weightless - a 90-second glance, not a 30-minute call.
- Prove demand quietly - "showed 5 people Monday, 4 asked in." "Everyone loves it" kills belief.
- Lowercase their first name, under ~50 words, one ask, always an exit.
SkeletonsFill the brackets, or hand to AI to rewrite
warm - you have proof
[firstname] :) we just crossed [milestone] with teams like yours, and your name keeps coming up as exactly who we built this for. mind if i show you? two minutes, no pitch. [name] (previously [credential])
cold - no proof yet
[firstname] :) bit of a long shot. i'm building [one line on what it does], and you're one of maybe five people whose honest take i'd actually trust. can i show you what i've got? [name]
the follow-up (the soft-no line)
hey [name], just checking in, any thoughts on [the thing]? wanted to give you first dibs. no worries if it's not the right fit right now.
The whole trick
The soft-no line - hand them an easy exit so they stop bracing and actually reply. Never beg, never "just bumping this." Every message gives them a way out.